physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
