The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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