Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
