No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
