yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
