Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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