my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
