Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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