Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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