If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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