The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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