the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
foreskin is a definite game changer
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
