Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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