I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
