Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
