in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm having to shit out rocks
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
