then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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