we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
