Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He did a backflip because drugs
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
