I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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