Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
So. Much. Porn.
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