Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize