woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
