Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she told me i tasted like america
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
