I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
