And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Mom said you looked used
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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