Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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