so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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