The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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