as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
