No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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