Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
