Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
