Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
