There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
