white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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