Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
