I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
