so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
