what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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