how can u be prego again
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
