just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
