don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize