Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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