Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
