That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
