There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
