omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
