I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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