I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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