sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
