either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
