too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
