I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
