I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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