If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
