If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have fence marks all over my body
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
