I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
