we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
