She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
foreskin is a definite game changer
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
